Sunday, December 14, 2008

Gone, but not forgotten.

Yesterday was the four year anniversary of my dad's passing. I still miss him like crazy, but it does get better in time. I know the song "Better In Time" by Leona Lewis has brought one of my lifetime friends a lot of solace in these last few months. I listened to the song then read the lyrics to it last night and understood why. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrNoDUblAtE This song speaks to anyone who has lost someone they love--no matter who it is or how they lost them. It's a beautiful song.

My dad taught me a lot of things in the 25 years I spent with him, and I could never share them all in a simple blog. So, I'll share a few. First of all, he definitely believed that anything worth having was worth fighting for. He believed in the innate goodness of others. He believed that honesty was always the best policy. He taught me how to be a good listener, by always listening to me whether I needed advice or to simply share my heart. He taught me how to love completely, by loving me completely-- without terms or conditions. I never once questioned his love and dedication to me. I hope that the ones I love never once take pause to question my love for them.

And as much as it sucked to feel like an orphan at 25..there were lessons to be learned from that. Life is too short to spend it with people who can't give you in return what you have given to them. If I give you my heart, my trust, my love, my friendship..then it is not selfish to ask for those things in return. I deserve those things as much as you do. I know that anger and resentment are things that I should never carry around with me. Life is too short to live with regrets, so I choose not to. I do not need a basket full of friends to show off as a trophy, but a few quality friends, including my husband, are more than I could ever ask for, and certainly all I will ever need.

If you press the pause button on the blogs music, you will be able to hear the music that goes along with this slideshow. It is a slideshow of our final goodbye to dad as we set his ashes free.


2 comments:

Mama Red said...

Very beautiful, Cami. It made me tear up. I love hearing about what an amazing father he was. I wish I had known him, but it is obvious the kind of man he was by seeing what an amazing person you are. He must be so proud as he smiles down on you. I love you, mama.

Unknown said...

((Hugs))